I’m really excited about this topic for a multitude of reasons. As many as there are stars in the universe.
I am going to say some things in this article that might sound strange to some of you, but bear with me. We all have that one thing on our to-do list, that thing that never gets done no matter how many times we try to speak its completion into existence. It could be a menial task, or it could be some really huge adulting thing that requires attention and diligence, but you put it off because, well, adulting. There are also perhaps bad habits or unappealing personality traits that you might secretly wish to work on or better, but haven’t found any reason to because your reality is operating just fine as is.
Your parents can’t make you change, and your friends love who you are currently and likely encourage some of the behaviors that you are trying to curve. Your job doesn’t really care about the kind of person you are outside of work (as long as it doesn’t affect your job) because that is not the capitalist way. And without that inclination to change, people often stay complacent and comfortable, or worse, gradually allow those traits and bad behaviors to fester and become toxic, unshakeable, and extremely antisocial. But I am here to tell you, good people of the internet, that there is something that can act as the catalyst to initiate the reaction that will get you off the couch and into the gym. The spark that will force you to read news articles for information rather than scroll Twitter for gossip or “tea”. The motivator that will cause you to re-evaluate old habits, stop excessive partying, and treat your mental and physical health with more regard. The life-altering drug that will have you making your bed every morning before breakfast. That exogenous component that can cause you to rethink – seriously – the entirety of how you live your life, that component is love. Now let me tell you why it is such a game-changer.
There are few different studies done recently that provide data on the development of young people in the world, and the implications their development has on the future. I am talking about studies such as the research cited in this Wall Street Journal article, indicating that men are forgoing a college education at a much more rapid pace than women, or this article about young adults in China choosing to date an Artificial Intelligence rather than date a real flesh and blood human being. I think fewer men going to school to make room for more women in the classroom isn’t the worst thing in the world, and young adults in China aren’t the only demographic of young people looking to the internet to fill some need for intimacy – yes, I am talking about the porn addiction most people have but we don’t seem to talk about. At the very least, it is true to say that the world is changing, and how young people meet, date, and socialize with other young people, or just people in general, is also changing. Young men in America are less inclined to choose college than women for a plethora of reasons, and seeing that I am not a millennial Chinese national, I can’t really speak on the situation happening there, but I will make the argument that all of these things are tied back to our innate human desire for love, and the lack thereof currently in the world.
When I say love I don’t just mean romantic love necessarily – I also define this desire for love as the need for acceptance from an individual or community without feeling judged for being who you are or for aspects of your identity. When someone loves you, there’s this implied notion of unconditional love, that this person will be there for you to comfort and provide solace when you are at your most vulnerable or anxious, no matter what the circumstances might be. You get a similar feeling to the one described when you are in a romantic relationship with a partner, but that’s not the only instance in which one can gain this sort of fulfillment. The key to finding love like this, whether it be platonic or otherwise, is the willingness to be open to an opportunity to receive love. And to be open to receiving love, one must be vulnerable. Vulnerability seems like the hardest thing for any of us to do these days. All of our problems are a result of our inability to be vulnerable with one another, but that’s a later post. Love takes vulnerability to work, and people today are not comfortable being vulnerable, and for good reason.
The world seems hyper-judgemental these days. Doesn’t really matter what side of the argument you’re on, we’re all just judging each other for whatever it is we perceive that we don’t like about one another. And on top of that, any bit of vulnerability an individual shows is taken as a sign of weakness, or marginalized by the internet and turned into a meme. No one wants their heartbreak to be trending on social media, and because of our fear of having our insecurities used against us we close ourselves off to love, or develop a sort of Stockholm syndrome and engage in the self-esteem destroying behavior that turned us off from vulnerability in the first place. Your feelings are being held hostage by the internet, and you don’t even realize it because they haven’t truly been your feelings for quite some time.
Overcoming vulnerability and achieving love can work wonders for the mind, body, and soul. Not going to spend too much time talking about the chemical and neurological effects love has on the brain, I’ll leave that to the experts in this amazing clip comparing love to cocaine (they make hella sense). But I will comment on the video and say that it feeds into the point I am trying to make about love. It’s a powerful god damn thing. Love can be the reason you put the bottle down, or pick the bottle up. It is a force of nature that can be experienced across species, but thanks to the cognitive ability of human beings, love for us isn’t just sex or sharing responsibilities in raising offspring. Love for us can mean that our entire lives revolve around a single individual, a single idea, that this person you love also loves you, and is worthy of not only your love but your trust. The trust you put in that person will be what makes that love special and worth changing your life for. Because you trust that this person you love will make you happier than anything else that came before them, it’s worth letting those things go in the pursuit of this greater feeling of euphoria.
We all know love doesn’t always play out like this, but the passion and experiences gained through love change our lives permanently, and more and more people are not experiencing that passion. Love opens up doors and our minds in ways we don’t expect, and this lack of love is harming us. Young people are less vulnerable, and as a result less in love, and we are seeing the negative effects of that every day. I also think hookup culture is dead – that is also a later post – and frivolous relationships, as well as one-night stands, are not a remedy for a lack of love. Trust me, as someone who has tried using both to get over a heartbreak, they don’t compare. If you’ve taken nothing away from this post, or if you got lost along the way but still ended up here, I’ll sum it up for you. Be vulnerable. Put yourself out there. Put yourself in a position to experience love. Put yourself in a position to give love. See how much your life changes.
OA
OA 